Fish Curry

I had fish for tea tonight, but fancied a change, so I cooked the fish in some aubergine curry I had in the freezer.

I used monkfish which is lovely and meaty, and just placed it on top of the hot curry and put the lid on the pan for about 8 mins, so the fish just steamed.

It was lovely - the creaminess of the fish went really well with the spicy sweet curry.

For those of you that can't have fish yet, I'm wondering if you could do this with chicken nuggets...

Keeping fit today

Went to a yoga class today - haven't been for over a year with one thing and another, but thoroughly loved it. Felt all stretched and lean and relaxed afterwards.

Made the most of my warmed up muscles by then having a swim, so I'm also feeling very virtuous!

Love this pic of Kermit I found - it looks more like me doing yoga than any of those skinny models you usually see!

Rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb...

There's still fresh rhubarb to be had - I found this lot in Morrisons - more expensive than earlier in the year, but looks lovely.

I've roasted it off in the oven with a bit of sweetener (15 mins at 200 deg) and then I'll portion it up and put it in the freezer. Since I generally eat it most days, this lot won't last long!

I'm also going to experiment making rhubarb crumble this weekend too - I'll keep you posted.

weight

28/09/2011 - no weight loss this week.
Given the tears at weekend, I now suspect it's all in the monthly cyclical nature of things - so hopefully I'll have a decent loss next week.

I know I've been good (apart from a few carrots and peas, which I'm sure won't have disrupted things too much) so I'm sure the weight loss will be there somewhere, probably just hidden by some water.

Red Devil

Today I'm accessorising with red. Ignore the trousers - they're a bit baggy, but loving this cardi. This was taken in our picnic spot at work, where I stopped for a rest on my way back from my walk (just delaying going back inside really, it's such a lovely day!).

Lunchtime Haven

Today's lunchtime walk took me up the street to St Stephen's Church, which was having an open day (every Wednesday apparently). I thought I'd have a look inside.

I'm not a particularly religious or spiritual person, but I do love churches. I love the architecture, the monument to human effort and the sense of tranquility they provide. And St Stephen's was no exception.

There were volunteers on hand to talk about the church, it's recent renovations and the preparations for harvest Sunday. And there were offers of tea, cake and biscuits (which I politely declined). It was nice to be reminded that there are places like this, full of people who are ready with a kind word and a kind deed for a total stranger. Somehow, despite not having a cup of tea, I feel more refreshed after my walk today.

Except that I discovered my favourite red shoes are a bit too big.

Striding into the sunset

Went for a lovely walk tonight as it was such a nice evening. Got home, changed, trainers on and back out while the sun was still out.

I walked to the library and back, which was about 1 1/2 miles and took about 40 mins (some is quite uphill!)

My cat did the first little bit, and then waited for me in someone's garden - he doesn't like the road (which is good) and he's a bit of a wuss!

So, walk done, omelette made for tea, tomorrow's tea taken out of the freezer - I'm all sorted - pat on the back!

Diet Coach

One of the things I've had to do for the Beck plan is to appoint a diet coach. I've chosen my middle sister who practices CBT.

I had my first check in with her today, and she's given me a useful technique to practice to help stop unplanned eating. I have to visualise something that I can associate with STOP (I chose a stop sign) and then use this to signal HALT (so I converted it to a Halt sign).

When I feel like eating, I have to ask myself 4 questions - do I feel:

• Hungry or thirsty?
• Angry or irritated
• Lonely or bored?
• Tired?

If the answer is anything except hungry, then I have to deal with that issue first BEFORE having something to eat. So, if I'm thining of eating but it turns out it's because I'm lonely, then I should call someone for a chat (or go online to the forum etc).

Anyway, I thought I'd share this as it seems like it will be a very useful technique. In the meantime, I've changed my PC background to a halt sign so it will remind me.

Updates on Beck plan

So I'm now on day 14 of the Beck plan, and have been doing some useful tasks.

• I read my list of reasons to lose weight everyday - prompted by my phone, which beeps them at me just before lunchtime.
• I eat everything sat down, and eat slowly and mindfully. This felt strange a first, but is already becoming a habit (not the sitting bit, I almost always did that, but I have slowed down my eating a lot). I tend to eat at my desk during the day, and find I have to force myself not to do other things at the same time (such as email, reading etc.)
• I go through a list of all the things I'm pleased with myself for each night - usually it contains sticking the plan, taking my medicine and doing a bit of exercise. Other days it also includes preparing food for the next couple of days and things like that.
• I've made a list of distraction techniques - things to try when I'm feeling hungry so that I don't eat until it's time. However, I rarely feel hungry, so this hasn't been put into practice yet.
• I'm also starting to make daily plans of what I'm doing during the day, scheduling in eating and exercise. This bit is easy really, as my mealtimes are faily fixed.
• Tomorrow is the first day when I will also follow a food plan. Again, this is fairly easy at this stage, as I'm still following the strictness of the Alizonne plan, so I generally plan my food the night before (at least) anyway.

So, that's where I'm up to - I'm finding it useful, even though some of the skills aren't really needed yet, I'm hoping that by the time I go onto maintenance in a few weeks, these will have become habits and will form part of my coping strategy.

Fish and Chips

Fish and chips for tea tonight. I microwaved the chips before putting them in the oven tonight. It sped up the cooking, but they weren't as nice. Probably won't do that again, will only have chips when I've got an hour to make them in the oven. Ho hum.

Lunchtime Walk

Just been for my (as advertised) lunchtime walk. It's a lovely day today, so I did a circuit of the football field next to the office. Have to keep your eyes out though, it's mostly dog do and daisies!

I did, however, find some great conkers, which are now on my desk reminding me that I have to go outside more often, because there is life outside the office walls.

Actually, I feel all invigorated for having 20 mins of fresh air and brisk exercise - and I'm sure I'll concentrate better this afternoon.

So, pat on the back for today's task.

Chocolate eclairs

Back home after our weekend away and thought I'd make something "naughty" to help me get over these indulgence cravings.

So I've made 4 chocolate eclairs using the pizza mix for the pastry, vanilla dessert for the filling and the chocolate spread that comes with pancakes for topping. Since it used 3 sachets, I can have 1 1/3 per portion.

Made a different kind of salad to alleviate the boredom - green salad but all chopped into dice and tossed in a dressing made with natural yoghurt, mustard and lemon juice. Included a gherkin for a bit of extra vinegary bite. So that all made a nice change.

Turkey for tea, with tomatoes and peppers, which I'm quite looking forward to - if I can manage it after my other 1 1/3 eclair later on!

Having a bad day

Today was not a good day.

We wnt to a pub for lunch and I had a roast beef dinner with no potatoes - not too bad in terms of the plan, but a bit disappointing in terms of flavour. It was so difficult to find something on the menu that was viable even on Phase 2, and we were out in the sticks with not a lot of options.

Back in town later on, it all just got too much for me. I was seeing food and cakes and lovely local produce at every corner and I'm thoroughly bored with green salad and resisting temptation, I was also sooooo tired (not sleeping and doing lots of walking wears you out). We went to a shop to get some more teabags and right there, right amongst the tea and jars of coffee, I just burst into tears. Big, fat, hot drops fell out of my eyes and down my face.

Fortunately hubby was close by and gave me a big cuddle, and told me I was doing so well and not far to go and here's a hankie which all helped. I left the shop - leaving him to pay for the tea and had a few more tears outside.

We went back to our holiday appt and I was still feeling out of sorts - down and tearful, and tired. Later on, I made my dinner, swearing at celery and green pepper which today I am very fed up of and very antagonistic towards. Ate my salad and consoled myself with pancakes with lemon and "sugar".

I'm sure I'll be fine - it's probably just hormones and tiredness, and I have felt like this on occasions before. I know it will pass, but it feels miserable.

Now, dear reader, I know you think I always put a brave face on things and paint a rosy picture, but generally that's how my life is. I've been finding this diet easy because generally I don't feel tempted by other things so don't have to resist. I did debate whether to confess to this outburst of weakness and tears - but not confessing wouldn't be very honest. And I do try and be honest with you every day, so that if you are reading this as support for your own journey, you can see what it's really like for someone else.

So, there you go, tears and all. It's not always easy or plain sailing, but it's a journey and I'm another day closer to the final destination.

Dressing for dinner

We've gone away for the weekend, and this is me dressed for dinner. Loving this skirt (thanks sis).

We went to an Italian, and I had a tomato salad (a mozzarella salad without the cheese). I followed that with sea bass and veg. The sauce was lemon and white wine, so a little bit off piste, but it was so nice just to be able to order from a menu and not have to pre-plan everything.

I love phase 2!

Was good though, resisted all the bread and butter, and tasting hubby's liver pate!

Song in your head

So you know some days you have those songs in your head that just won't go away? It's been one of those today, and this is the song that's been in my head. You might not have heard Carla Ulbrich before, but she's very funny.

So, especially if you're dieting, but even if you're not, have a listen to this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAlLTkeULfs

"normal" lunch

Today I had my first "normal" lunch in our staff restaurant. For the last 5 months, I've been making salad or getting our lovely catering staff to make me a green salad (I think they have the list pinned up in the kitchen!).

But today I was going out for the evening and decided to have my dinner at lunchtime as it were. And as it happened, today's special was omlettes.

Chef made me a lovely omelette, for which I chose the veg (and the amounts) so the onion, bacon and ham were all left out. It was all finished off with chopped chives and served with a nice green salad.

Then for my dinner, I had (more) salad and a drink, and chocolate buns for my late snack (at the theatre).

So, an upside down but eventful day, which all turned out well in the end.

weight

21/09/11 = 13 stone 8
Another 3 1/2 lb off this week, which makes me very happy!

Only 1 stone 4 to target now, which won't be long!

Take a walk

Today's task in my CBT diet book is to plan some exercise into my schedule. Whilst I do a bit of exercise now, it's a bit haphazard and not enough. So here's my new plan...

Each lunchtime I'm going to have a 5 - 10 min walk, outside if it's lovely like today and inside if it's raining (there are enough corridors and stairs at work to keep me busy!). Then on either Friday or Saturday I'm going to swim or do yoga (depending on visiting family, which will either be Fri or Sat). On Sunday have a swim and then go to the gym at least one night during the week. So I will get in 3 x 45 min sessions in a week, plus the lunchtime bits.

If I get into this routine now, then by the time I finish Alizonne (and get an extra evening free) it should be more of a habit and easier to maintain.

So, I just had my first lunchtime walk, in the sunshine and the wind, on the playing field near work. It was lovely to get away from my desk and get a bit of fresh air. Not sure I liked the accompanying clicking noise from my arthritic knee though, sounded like I was being followed by someone snapping twigs every other step! But still, when the weather decides what it's doing, my knee will stop clicking and I can have a peaceful walk. Roll on summer...

Feeling Guilty

I'm begining to feel a bit guilty. Well, not so much guilty as sorry for everyone else.

Everyday, lots of people tell me I'm looking good, doing well or being inspirational. It's a great boost to my self esteem and does help spur me on and keep me determined. Now, I'm not suggesting any of these lovely people stop doing this, no! That would be mean.

But I would like them all to say it to someone else too - someone that looks good all the time, but never gets the compliment because for them it's "normal".

So come on, share the joy. Now that you've read this, give someone a compliment for just being them - take the time to notice them, and give them a little boost too!

Looking nice

Today when I came downstairs, my husband told me I looked nice! This doesn't happen often, so I thought I'd share it with you dear reader.

So, he obviously likes the long sweater and leggings look, and the slimmer me :-)

Have had a good day today. My CBT exercise was to congratulate myself everytime I did something positive about my diet, so it's been a busy day. I've eaten the right things at the right time, eaten everything sat down, and especially tricky - resisted the offerings of cheese samples at the cheese counter in Booths (while husband was selecting his cheese board for tonight).

Now just got my water to finish off, and I'm done for today.

Today's Task - eat everything sitting down

I hardly ever eat standing up, or on the run (hangover from schooldays when we weren't allowed to eat in public I think), so I didn't think this would be difficult. (Not like Kristen Bell in the photo).

The idea is to make sure you realise you're eating, taking time and savouring each mouthful, rather than rushing down food without even registering it.

Today was probably the most likely day in ages that I would have eaten standing, as we went to Harrogate Flower Show - normally I might have had an ice cream while walking about, or some fudge. However, neither of these were on the menu anyway, and each time I did eat (which was 3 times!) I found a bench and took a little time.

I also reread my list of reasons, so it's been a good day!

Chicken curry

Made a lovely chicken curry for tea tonight - husband had the same, but with a naan bread. Made some raiti to go with it, with fat free yoghurt, cucumber and mint. All very tasty, and just the thing after a day out in the weather!

Chicken curry - brown chicken adding garlic powder and cumin to the pan. Put the chicken on one side and keep warm (in the oven).

Fry celery, green pepper, red pepper and courgette. Add garam masala and ground coriander to pan. Then add spring onion tops, mushrooms, passata and 2 tsp of sweetener (making sure you stick to the limits on veg if your doing Alizonne). Put a lid on the pan, and simmer for 10 - 15 mins.

Add the chicken back to the pan, and give it another 5 mins before ladling into bowls.

Enjoy!

A real omlette for dinner

Late in tonight as it was clinic, so needed a "quick" dinner. Spanish omlette to the rescue! Using mushrooms and tomatoes from my allowance, some spring onion tops and my 2 eggs, I made this lovely thing, and had some extra spinach on the side.

My husband saw it (having made his own omlette earlier) and said, "Wow, that looks so much nicer than mine did". Can see I might have to give him more lessons.

After demolishing aforementioned omlette, I then made some chilli cheese fritters and some focaccia for tomorrow - we're off to Harrogate Flower Show. Mum's made a picnic for everyone else, with some green salad for me, so I just needed to prepare sachets to take. Didn't want to many liquid ones though - heavy to carry on top of lots of water, and I hate those portaloos!

weight

15/09/11 = 13 stone 11 1/2
Another 2 lb off this week, but realised that I'd misrembered my weight last week, so that one was only almost 3 not 4.

Anyhow - I'm just 10kg off target, that's just 22 lbs, or 1 stone 8!
And only 6kg to go until I move to the next phase - bread and cereal. Was going to write "can't wait" but actually I can. Not missed it as much as I'd thought I would.

Still, I'm very much enjoying my "real" protein at dinner.

Getting into the right mindset

My sister, who's a counsellor specialising in CBT, recommended this book to me as a way for me to prepare for ending my diet and going onto maintenance. It's not a diet plan, but a mental approach to dieting or maintaining a certain weight, based on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT).

The book explains the theory and then sets daily tasks for a period of 6 weeks. By starting it now, I should have built up the skills to cope when I've finished with the phased bit of the Alizonne plan.

I thought I'd share with you some of the tips I learn along the way. If you want to join in, you can get the book on Amazon. There are 2 books, the original and a workbook. You don't need them both, just pick one. If you get the original, you will also need a big notebook and you'll need to spend more time writing. If you get the workbook, the pages are all ready for you to write your own stuff in - so it depends what you want to do.

I started this yesterday, and the task was to make a list of the reasons I want to lose weight and keep it off. Fairly easy this one, as you will have seen I already have a list of 60 reasons! But I have to make this list easily available and read it everyday, to reinforce my reasons, so it will be easier to remember them when I'm confronted with temptation. I've set the main ones up on my phone, which is set to go off and remind me of them everyday just before lunch, so let's see how well that goes.

Today, I have to choose a primary diet (easy, Alizonne) and a back up diet to revert to if I get bored. The theory is that by having a plan B now, I won't spend weeks floundering if I need a change. Think plan B will be Slimming World Extra Easy, because I've done it before and think it's a natural fit with the healthy eating habits I'm learning.

I'm sure there will be plenty of food for thought along the way, but so far, so good.

She's got le-e-e-gs!

Today, in a perhaps misguided homage to ZZ Top, I've got legs. I'm also being (in my head at least) very stylish by colour blocking. I swallowed a Marie Clare last week, so I "know" what I'm talking about.

So, the vision of purple haze you see before you isn't a stick of heather, it's me! Sweater dress and thick tights (and thick legs, but there you go, we can't all be Kate Moss).

And check out that smile on my face! OK, it may be nervous self-consciousness, but who cares, it's still a smile!

Swimming in the dark

Just back after a full moon swim in Hatchmere. Really am going to have to get a new wetsuit soon, the water is getting decidedly cool - 16.8 degrees tonight.

It was lovely though, in the moonlight in a lake, with skeins of geese flying overhead honking in formation. This is us crowded round the lights having a lovely warm drink afterwards - some of us still wearing our glow sticks (not from the rave, but so we can find each other in the water in the dark!)

So, shopping list for sometime in the next couple of weeks:
- new (smaller) swimsuit
- new (smaller) wetsuit

I feel like chicken tonight

And so that's what I had. Accompanied by griddled veg and a fresh herb dressing.

It's nice having dinner at the dining table with my husband again, instead of us both snatching separate meals.

Salad, again

As usual, it's salad again for lunch. Today I made a kind of Russian salad using some yoghurt, mustard, lemon and dill dressing I had left over from fish last night.

Made a nice change.

I'm Petite!

Now, I never thought I'd be saying that!

As I've recently discovered, leggings are wonderful. BUT they are too long, and so I have wrinkles round my ankles (which isn't really where I want wrinkles, well, I don't really want them anywhere!). Apparently, according to my friend TLN, it's not because they make leggings too long, it's because I'm a shorta**e!

So, last week I bought some more leggings, but I bought petite ones. They fit perfectly! They're the right length and everything. OK, so they're a size 18, which isn't really petite in my opinion, but that's what it says on the label, so it must be TRUE.

Dressing for dinner

So, that steak was such a treat, we decided that we should dress for dinner. This is Arthur, enjoying a bit of my husband's steak (he wasn't getting any of mine!)

Steak

So, here's tonight's dinner - a beautiful, rare (blue) fillet steak with ratatouille.

Sadly no red wine to go with it, but very enjoyable all the same.

Cycles

We've been talking on the forum about how weight loss fluctuates so much, especially for women. I've thought mine slowed down a few times, but it soon picked back up again. I thought it might help to see all my losses in one place, so you can see how variable it's been - so here goes:

Week, loss (in lbs)

1,             7.5

2,             3.5

3,             2.2

4,             4.8

5,             1.8  *

6,             4.0

7,             4.0

8,             3.3

9, Holiday

10,             3.1

11,             4.2

12,             2.1  *

13,             1.9  *

14,             4.9

15,             2.8

16, -           1.3  *

17,             2.8

18,             5.8

19,             3.7

20,             4.0

Total,           65.0

As you can see, about every 5 weeks I have a dip. I've never been a very regular person, hence the fluctuations in timing! I've starred the ones where I think it's more about PMT than eating. Hope this helps anyone worrying about their ups and downs - the best thing is to look at the monthly pattern - it seems to be a fairly steady stone per month for me.

Salivating already

I'm salivating already. I'm having fillet steak for my dinner tonight and I can't wait. It's the first meat I've had since mid April. Yes, that did say April, not August! Almost 5 months.

I went to my local farm shop butchers this afternoon, and was met by a big smile - my butcher missed me! (I'm sure his profit margins did too, I'm a big carnivore!)

Pics later, just thought I'd share the excitement of a fillet steak :-)

Flirty skirty

Out for drinks after work tonight, so wearing something hopefully trendy. Skater dress and leggings with pixie boots.

I love the colour of this dress, a sort of jade blue/green.

Had a great night, resisted all the pizzas and chips, having a veggie stir fry instead (we went to Dukes 92). And I had about a litre and a half of water. Not bad for 5 hours in the pub!

Boiled Eggs!

I had my doctor's review at the clinic tonight, and have decided to change my target weight. As a result, I've only got another 22lbs to lose, and it means that I've now moved to Phase 2 of the program!

That means that I can now have "real" protein for dinner, instead of a packet mix. I can't have a lot, 120g of meat, 140g of fish or 2 eggs.

When I got home from clinic, I decided to make the most of this new flexibility, but didn't have any meat in the house - but I did have some eggs. Remarkably I started drooling at the very thought of a boiled egg.

To my eggs I added some asparagus, spinach and tomatoes, olive oil and black pepper.

It was delicious.

I'm now dreaming of the steak I can have - that will be my Friday night treat this week.

weight

07/09/11 = 13 stone 12
Another 4 lb off this week, making a total of 4 stone 9 in 20 weeks (4 1/2 months!)

Whoop whoop!

office style

Realised today that I haven't posted any pictures of my new outfits for a little while, so here's what I'm wearing today.

This black skirt from my sister is now actually a bit big, and I can swivel it round!

Oh, and my shoes are a bit big too - by about 1/2 a size. They are slipping a bit at the back - just as well they've got straps on, or they would fall off! And I've only had them a few weeks. Ah, well...

Chefs are superstars

When you get such beautiful food, which tastes as good as it looks, then chefs really are superstars. Not only do they go out of their way to stick to a limited list of ingredients, and create exciting, interesting and tasty food, but they spend time to present as a feast for the eyes. True artistry which should be celebrated.

So well done to the chef at the Birmingham city thistle hotel, who joins those at Alberts as my heroes!

Thank you!

Wow, look at my dinner!

Well, this is (was) my starter and it tasted as good as it looks. That cucumber salsa was genius, will be trying that at home.

Dining out (again)

Tonight I'm in Birmingham ready for a conference tomorrow. I called ahead with my dietary requirements and I'm impressed so far - I have my own menu, starter and main. How cool is that?

I'm not the only one

Just in case you thought I was mad going for a swim in Pickmere - this is just to prove I'm not the only one! You can spot me in the middle of the group - looking a lot smaller than I used to! That swimsuit is holding less fear for me every month.

Back in the water

Thursday was such a lovely day, I went for a swim in Pickmere, with some other likeminded souls. We were all swimming without wetsuits - which was just as well, as mine is way too big for me now! I'll have to get a new one in the spring, and see if I can last this year without needing one.

Still, at least when I do come to buy a new one, I should just be able to get a normal size one that fits - instead of buying one for a 6 ft 4 man and chopping half the arm and leg lengths off! My current one looks a bit strange, the knee pads are near my ankles!

Bakefest

Had a mad baking session tonight, getting ready for two days away. Cinnamon and mixed spice muffins (3 sachets each of pizza and oatmeal, mixed spice, cinnamon and sweetener).

Lemon and coconut buns, as an experiment, using 2 lemon flan, 1 coconut and one pizza.

Hope they keep well in my bag, as I'm away until Tuesday night!

Pancakes

Pancakes for supper tonight, with lemon and sweetener rather than chocolate. Think I prefer them this way.

This was after we spent the day at a village cricket match, which we'd sponsored. Sponsorship included a lovely buffet and drinks, but I just had water and some griddled veg I'd taken.

Was told I looked great which was nice, makes all the effort worth it. In fact, someone said I was disappearing!

Tea

Had some lovely fresh mint tea today, in All Bar One in
Manchester.

Just as well the tea was nice, my husband had cookies and ice cream, which looked great, and the waiter even bought two spoons!

But I resisted - gold star and a tick for me then!